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Kenyan constitution amendments thru time

Paralyzed

This is how I fee, totally parlaysed. Should we vote Red or green on Kenya’s proposed new constitution?

Lest We Forget, Dr MAKODINGO has attempted a historical review. Hope it helps…

Origin of Kenya

The territory now known as Kenya came into existence on 12th December 1897 as a protectorate of the British Monarch. The people were put under the political and military patronage of the Queen of England.

In 1920, Kenya was made a British Colony, the territory becoming part of the British Empire.

Imposition of colonial order was achieved through military force, introduction of a new faith, use of English law in place of African Customary laws and the imposition of an economic order that was intended to create wealth for the colonial settlers. Existing constitutional orders of the African communities were destroyed.

An administrative system of Chiefs, Dos, DCs and PCs were created to enforce the colonial order.

This oppressive system was vehemently opposed by the African peoples. Three factors combined to accelerate and bring about the desired changes under the colonial order: Resistance by local communities, Weakening of the British Empire by the cost of World War II, and the increased climate for self-determination and respect for human rights.

Constitutional Landmarks to Independence:

1954: The Littleton Constitution.

§  Named after the then Colonial Secretary, Sir Littleton

§  This was the first Multiracial Constitution

§  Established a Council of Ministers of 12

§  6 were to be appointed by the Governor

§  6 Elected: 3 Europeans, 2 Asians and 1 African.

o   The African representatives rejected these arrangements.

1958: Lenox-Boyd Constitution

§  Increased the Council of Ministers to 16

§  Half elected, and half Appointed.

§  Europeans were still the majority.

§  Redistribution of Land, release of political prisoners and Repeal of repressive laws not addressed

§  Demand for full independence was in the air

§  Africans demanded for a Constitutional Conference to negotiate for Independence.

1960: Macleod Constitution

§  A product of Lancaster I in 1960

§  Provided for a majority of Africans in LEGCO( of 65 Members) and Council of Ministers

§  Provided for Independence

§  Alluded to self-internal government.

1961: First Multiracial Election

§  Held in February 1961

§  KANU won the polls but refused to form Government demanding the release of Kenyatta as a precondition

§  KADU, the opposition formed government

1962: Lancaster II

§  Resulted into internal self-rule

§  Queen still  had control over Legislature, defence, Internal security and Foreign Affairs

§  Majimbo present

1963: Constitution passed as an Act of British Parliament in April and became Law May 31st 1963.

§  Fully Bicameral Parliament with 131 House of Representatives and 41 Senators

§  Cabinet headed by PM

§  First internal government took office on June 1st 1963

§  Marked the first Madaraka Day

§  Later, Lancaster III was held

§  In December the Country became Independent as a Dominion but not a republic

§  The Queen was still the Head of State, and PM Kenyatta Head of Government

1964: Independent Parliament amended the Constitution to make Kenya a Republic

§  Majimbo system heavily eroded

§  Concentration of power in the presidency began

§  Created the basis of a single-party system

Between 1964 and 1991, successive amendments sought and did achieve to recreate the Colonial Order in Kenya, only this time, a Kenyan was the Monarch.

Note that even after independence;

§  Colonial repressive laws remained unchanged

§  Colonial Administrative system remained intact

§  The political system became a wealth-creating system for the elite through corruption.

Between the short period covering 1963 and 1991, the Kenya Constitution was amended several times. These include:

1.       The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment) Act No 28 of 1964

§  Made Kenya a Republic

§  Created office of the President and made him both Head of State and Government

§  President elected by House of representatives constituted as Electoral college

§  Executive Authority  of Jimbos highly watered down

§  Modified provisions for Citizenship and local authorities

2.       The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment) (No 2) Act No 38 of 1964

§  Transferred to Parliament powers to alter regional boundaries. Originally the power of the regions

§  Independent sources of revenue to regions stopped making them entirely dependent on Central Government

§  Regional Presidents designated Chairmen

§  Appointing authority of Judges given absolutely the President’s. Requirement for consultation with at least 4 Regional presidents before appointing CJ removed

§  Ex-Officio MPs lose their votes in NA

3.       The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment) Act No 14 of 1965

§  Constitution amendment threshold reduced from 90% to 65% in Senate and 75% to 65%

§  Executive power of regions deleted completely

§  Abolished appeals to privy councils; Supreme Court replaced with High Court

§  Approval of Emergency increased from 7 to 21 days and threshold reduced to simple majority from 65%

§  Removed provisions concerning control of Agricultural land transactions from the Constitution

4.       The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment) Act No 16 of 1966

§  Required MPs who had not attended NA for over 8 sittings or imprisoned for over 6 months to lose their seats ( Many KANU rebels were not going to NA) and some had joined KPU

§  Minister in charge of citizenship given discretion to grant Citizenship to Commonwealth citizens residing in Kenya for over 6 months

§  Increased powers to rule by decree in NEP

§  National Youth Service included in disciplined forces.

5.       The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment) (No 2)Act No 17 of 1966/Turn Coat Rule

§  Required for an MP to seek re-election at the end of the session of his defection

§  Meant to deal with Odinga and Co who had left KANU for KPU without resigning their seats. Odinga and Kenyatta’s wars started in earnest.

6.       The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment) (No 3) Act No 18 of 1966

§  Period of NA review of Emergency orders increased from 2 to 8 months

§  Greater and wider derogations of Fundamental right and freedoms permitted. Removed the provision calling for reasonable justification for such derogations

§  Meant to allow for detention of recently defected KPU leaders

7.       The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment) (No 4) Act No 19 of 1966

§  Both houses amalgamated to form on National Assembly

§  Increased constituencies by 41 to accommodate Senate MPs

§  Quorum of NA fixed at 30

§  Speaker of NA made Chair of ECK assisted by two Presidential appointees

§  References to Senate deleted and life of NA extended to end in June 1970 instead of 1968

8.       The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment) Act No 4 of 1967

§  Meant to clear doubt over Section 42A (Turn Coat Rule)

§  Backdated the effect of the Fifth Amendment to 1963.

§  KPU members argued that the amendment came after they had decamped

§ 

9.       The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment) Act No 16 of 1968

§  Abolished Provincial Councils and deleted from the constitution any references to the provincial and district boundaries and alterations thereof

10.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment) (No 2) Act No 16 of 1968

§  Election of President made to be by Universal Suffrage

§  Every party required to nominate a Presidential Candidate

§  Ballot paper made to pair President and MP from same party

§  Independent candidates barred from contesting

§  Qualifications for presidency introduced

§  President empowered to appoint members of PSC and nominate 12 MPs

§  Altered provisions of presidential succession and removed parliamentary approval for state of emergency declaration

11.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment) Act No 5 of 1969

§  Consolidated all the Constitutional amendments as at February 1969 thereby resulting in a revised Constitution for Kenya in one document which was declared to be the authentic document

§  Membership of ECK altered by making all members appointed by the President

12.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act No 10 of 1974

§  Reduced the age of voting from 21 to 18

13.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act No 5 of 1974

§  Made Kiswahili one of the official languages of the National Assembly

14.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act No 1 of 1975

§  Repealed Constitution of Kenya(Amendment) No 2 of 1974

§  Provided that all financial resolutions and written laws be presented to the House shall be written in English, and all other issues would be debated in Kiswahili

§  Extended the Presidential prerogative to include annulling disqualifications arising out of a ruling of the Elections Court – Ngei Amendment (meant to benefit Ngei)

15.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act No 13 of 1977

§  Established the Court of Appeal

§  Abolished the right to directly remit compensation for acquisition of property abroad without complying with foreign exchange regulations

16.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act No 1 of 1979

§  Provided for use of English as an alternative Parliamentary language

§  Proficiency in Kiswahili made a prerequisite for qualification for people seeking parliamentary office

17.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act No 5 of 1979

§  Specified  period within which a civil servant must resign to seek office

§  6 months prior to preliminary elections

18.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act No 7 of 1982

§  Introduced Section 2A that changed Kenya from a de facto to de jure one party state making Kenya a one-party state by Law

§  Turn coat rule(Fifth Amendment) repealed

§  Definition of a Political Party deleted

§  Method of nominations for General Elections amended making them a preserve of KANU

19.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act No 6 of 1986

§  Repealed Section 89 which provided for automatic Citizenship for people born in Kenya after Dec 1963. Henceforth, either of your parents must be Kenyan

20.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act No 14 of 1986

§  removed Security of Tenure of AG and Auditor & Controller General

§  abolished office of Chief Secretary

§  provided for a new min 168 and max 188 Constituencies

21.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act No 20 of 1987

§  Made all Capital offences non-bailable

§  torture of Political prisoners entrenched in the Criminal Justice system

22.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act No 8 of 1988

§  Legalised detention of Capital offenders for 14 days without trial allowing for time to torture

§  Removed security of tenure of Constitutional office Holders

23.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act 1990

§  Returned the Security of tenure of Constitutional office Holders

§  Provided for a max of 210 and min of 188 Constituencies

24.   The Constitution of Kenya (Amendment)  Act No 12 of 1991

§  Repealed Section 2A of the Constitution hence ending the de jure one-party rule in Kenya

§  The Turn Coat Rule (Fifth Amendment) was reintroduced

§  The nomination procedure leading to elections of the National Assembly and Presidency were amended to accommodate multi-partism

§  A definition of a political party was adopted.

The Amendments were meant to:

  • Strengthening the Executive relative to the other arms of government
  • Emasculating other arms of government
  • Derogating fundamental human rights and civil liberties

Why the Amendments require Constitutional Review

  • They have made the President more powerful than the King
  • Led to manipulation of Legislature and Judiciary
  • The Presidency controls distribution of national resources
  • The people(Civil Society) have no say on [policy formulation and implementation
  • Sycophancy and Corruption have been institutionalised
  • Less protection of Human Rights
  • Made it difficult for democracy to thrive
  • Citizens are cowed by force of oppressive laws
  • Elections are manipulated
  • Tribalism and Ethnic animosity institutionalised i.e. through quota system


Regards,

Dr MAKODINGO Washington, BPharm,MPSK
Registered Pharmacist and Constitutional Expert,
P O Box 60113 – 00200 Nairobi
“I’m not arrogant, just Smarter”

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July 13, 2010 Posted by | Constitution, corruption, Donkey, Injustice, Kenya | , , , , , , | 7 Comments

This Dawg is ready for the World Cup

pluto T1.jpg

I’m in heaven wearing my new T-shirt from Fluid-Tees

pluto t2.jpg

Thanks @fluidtees – @egichomo bet you didn’t know you were making dogtease when I ordered the T-shirts

pluto t3.jpg

Wanna tackle?

This T-shirt was delivered 3 hours after ordered through @egichomo in Nairobi. Amazing people! Thank you guys! Pluto is well ready for the World Cup! GOOOO AAAFFFRIIIICAAAAAAA!!!!

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June 9, 2010 Posted by | twitter | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Kenyan politicians head to hollywood

Well it’s out, Kenyan leaders and their wives have been approached by Hollywood Directors in a move that could guarantee that these non starters of 2012 could have a life beyond politics.

I’ve heard that some of the recent proposals  (top secret so don’t tell anyone) include

1. Lucy Kibaki and other African first ladies will be starring in the sequel to Good Hair titled “Really Bad Hair”by Chris Rock.

Mwai, George and his wife will play their parts too

Producers have a huge selection of other stars to choose from – if Lucy agrees to share the stage of course. This lady comes ready prepared with body guards and weapon. Of courses the authors recommend that the title be extended to read “Really bad Hair, hats and expressions”.

2. The third installment of the trilogy Night at the Museum which will be titled “Day at the Zoo” – a documentary about one day in the Kenyan parliament (though rumour has it that Kenyan MP’s are asking for astronomical daily sitting and standing allowances to appear  in this film and so the producers are now considering shifting to work on the Somali parliament – (if there is one to talk about in coming days).  The title of this movie has been change several times from “Funny People” to “Demons and even more Demons” and “Public enemies” before settling on “Day at the Zoo”.

3. In a much awaited sequel to Box office  Hit Ferris Buelers day off,  comes “Mwai Kibaki’s Day off”,  a low budget documentary  that will feature the daily life of Kenya’s current president. No doubt this will become a much loved and re-watched that Kenyans in particular where viewers will vote with a resounding thumbs down.

4. Big name producers have proposed a sequel to “Land of the Lost”, the produces have proposed a 3 hour “Avatar” style extravaganza about Kenyan voters.

5. Based on a  true story, “Predators in Kenya” is the inside story of Luis Moreno Ocampo’s search and arrest for the culprits of the Kenya’s post electionViolence.

Don't miss this gripping thriller "Predators"

7. Finally, a new rumour has just come – Gideon Moi has purchased the rights (with your money) to produce a real life feature about himself titled “Hell Boy 3”. Nough said.

8. Goldfinger 2: life in Kenya is a new title proposed for a fantasy film about a diamond stealing, lying, cheating, born again christian named Paul who is of indian origin. It will also feature Finger of God cult stars  if they can get out of jail in time.

9. South African president Jacob Zuma will star in the latest installment of Meet the Parents called  “Fathers of the Brides” – about his bride price wrangles.

“I’ll kick your ass!!”

10. Coming soon is another expected box office hit,  “Bad Boys 3” about the aspiring  sons of fathers of politics in Kenya. In this  feature Jimmy, Gideon, Uhuru and others will play themselves. It is rumoured that Margaryan and Sagarsyan, the infamous Artur Brothers are providing never seen before material or this real life drama. The title of this flick has been changed from “more than 12 monkeys”, and “Amageddon in Kenya’.

May 19, 2010 Posted by | Donkey | | Leave a comment

Dealing with Kenyan Police and spouse abuse – we are hopeless

What do you do when a stranger walks into your house on a Saturday morning, unannounced at 8 am asking for a beer?

Our otherwise calm weekend was shattered….someone I barely recognized just strolled into my sitting room – it took me a moment to recognize him as a friends boyfriend.

It was not much after 9 am – he walked into, just like that , as if invited, and asked us for a beer.

For a moment Peter and I were stunned. We just stared at him. Peter for one had never even met the guy -a tall Indian dude.

I realized from the pong that this chap, lets call him Charlie, was quite drunk. I asked Peter to get him some Ribena and began wondering how we’d get rid of him. We don’t know him well enough to feel comfortable with him being around us on an otherwise intimate Saturday morning, but I know him enough to feel it was a bit too rude to simply say “F- OFF you aren’t invited”.

Dressed rather oddly for a Saturday morning it became clear that this was a Friday night turned Saturday morning. I made a comment that it had been a long night and he revealed that he’d been in a car accident, rolled his car 3 times and had walked over to us. Luckily he wasn’t hurt we all agreed.

I felt as if the pieces were falling into place …but what a perfect con.

The next ten minutes he’s bragging that he’s a trained rally driver, and that he’s a magnificent driver and at age 42 had never rolled a car, that he was in a state of complete shock, as if the car had somehow turned against him. The bashed car was at the garage – he said he’d sent a cheque of half a million to pay for the damages “no big deal he says” – does this retard think we are impressed with talk of cheques of half a million shillings? The only thought going through my head was “What an ass” how do I get rid of him?

“Does your girlfriend know?” I ask “I don’t know” he says, “my three phones were broken” (three phones my ass). “I’ll call her” I offer,

“No, don’t” he replies.

I go to make coffee detouring to my office to send her a text.

“Not sure if u r aware Charlie is here says he had an accident is traumatized, says I shouldn’t call u”

I turn on the kettle and Peter emerges “he says he broke Annes arm”

“WHAT? “

“He broke her arm”

“How? In the accident?

“No, says he got angry and threw something at her”

Now I’m totally confused and very very mad, no FURIOUS.

I call her – it’s true she’s at a local clinic. Shell shocked, she’s asking if he’s being a pain what can she do to get him out of our hair. I tell her I’m coming for her.

*?*! (deleted expletive) beats up his girl and comes over to my house for sympathy. What the *^$%?

I ask him to leave, he puts on that stupid British school boy attitude “I understand” and stands up and wobbles about. I leave Peter to get him completely out with instructions to lock all doors of the house.

We  leave, the @^% is somewhere wondering around the garden, instructions to staff – get rid of him.

Peter and I rushed off to help Anne who is at a clinic waiting in line. She is complete shock. She tells us that  he had crashed his car at about 4 am on his way to her house. He says it rolled 3 times and that the roll bar saved him and his seatbelt. She sounds thankful that he’s safe… what a poor guy traumatized and all. “The  %$#@^&&%%$#  has broken her arm” my head screams!

He told us that he was playing with the steering wheel when the car lost control. I can’t even bring myself to do a Duh! He told her that after the accident a crowd gathered at the scene and someone called a tow truck. He gets the crumpled vehicle towed to her house at 5.30 am. Calls her, she opens up and is sympathetic to his accident, but he drinks some more (he was already completely drunk) then gets angry accuses her for causing the accident (because she didn’t go out with him the night before – THANK GOD

She says he goes into a wild rage, starts breaking things and throwing things around including a full jar of Tahini that hit her on the elbow causing quite some considerable damage. I look at it – her elbow is totally deformed with the swelling, it’s turning blue.

The clinician refers her to a major hospital for an x-ray and we agree to take her immediately. As we were driving she gets a phone call from her house keeper. She listens silently then tells us that the *^&%  has come back and has broken all the windows.

The she breaks down into a pool of tears. We stop the car and I advise her to go straight to the police.

She agrees and we ask the police to arrest him – we know he’s still around, very drunk and is on foot somewhere. He’s easy to spot. Two police officers move off on foot to “catch him”  …can’t be tough, tall skinny Asian guy in an totally African neighbourhood.

They keep calling saying they can’t find him and keep asking for descriptions – this is silly, we know he’s around – there’s only one road  – he’s on it somewhere. A lady drives up to the police station – she tells us she gave a tall Asian a lift to a bar across the way, and that immediately after she dropped him two police ask her for a lift  – they tell her that they are looking for a tall Asian. She said she took them to the bar – at the entrance someone said the Asian got on a boda boda motorbike and left. They head off in the direction the boda boda went in.

We leave the police station furious that he  has escaped but as we drive past the bar I look over only to see the ASS sitting at the very bar– he can see us.  *&%^&^%$#$#$!

We go straight to the two foot patrol men and point them at the guy – they arrest him. We proceed to hospital. It’s now lunch time.

By 5 we’re done with X-rays and are driving back home. She’s agreed to stay with us  – her house is a mess anyway.  At 6 the police want to know what to do with the fellow. Follow your procedures we say – he’s beaten her up and destroyed property. Put him in.

They say they are going to lock him in at the main station. Good.

By 8 pm and we’re at her house evaluating the damage and getting a night bag. Broken bed, broken bulbs, broken lights and a broken door. White gloss paint poured over the newly finished house. She’s in tears again. The place is a mess.

His parents call and beg Anne not to press charges, to get him out of the cell. They admit he’s done wrong but he’ll be molested, attacked, injured even killed in the cell.  She’s torn.

We ask her what she wants to do  – it’s clear. She’s a wreck, her arm is blue and three times the diameter but she doesn’t want him raped or hurt in a cell. She says he’s remorseful (My *&^%!)  I know she’ll never forgive herself, and he’ll never let her forgive herself if he has to sleep in a cell.

So we have to head back to the police station – the Officer in charge is not available. The Duty Officer does not have authority to let someone out. Well we tried, its good enough for me, let him rot in the cell.

But no, someone suggests we ask the Officer in charge of the Division – the guy is in and wants to see us. What happened next could easily be made in a movie. Kenyan policemen are thugs.

I know that spouse abuse is common in Kenya but that does not make the victims pains any less. The police responsible are doing their jobs but they could hold back the laughter and fun they are getting out of this particular situation. They speak in Swahili and poke fun knowing Anne does not understand – but their expressions reveal the fun they are making. They say they don’t understand, the guy has injured her, destroyed her property and why? Because he rolled his car and was frustrated.
“But what did YOU do to make him hit you” the OCPD asks.

She is being asked to admit that she is the reason he got mad, that she triggered something, that it’s all her fault. If its not her fault the officer says then he could come back and hurt you again tonight.

“If it’s just frustration and drink ” he reasons “Why didn’t he go home and wreck his own house – why drive across town at 5 am to break your houses?” the police man asks

It’s a Good *&^* ing question.

Part of me wants to yell at the stupid cop but what good would that do in this situation – we are all his victims now. I feel like a prey stuck in a spiders web. The spider torturing each one of us in turn. It’s taking forever, we have no  idea where his line of questioning is going.

But after an hour of the police logic I knew what I’d do,  let the *&$#  rot in the cell for the night. He could deal with his plight tomorrow – and his damn parents who claim to love him should come rescue him. Asking his victim to rescue him is obscene and totally retarded.

But I also knew that Anne wouldn’t sleep tonight if he was in a cell. She’d worry and feel extreme guilt. She’d probably punish herself somehow. The police man notices that she has mercy, he can see that she worries about him and asks why. He asks “Why didn’t he worry about you when he started attacking her and destroying her new home?”.

She knows the answer, but logic seems to be on vacation.

They bring the &^%$ out of the cell and haul him in front of us. His attitude alone made me want to instruct the police officer to throw him in with the worst offenders for the entire weekend.

Normally a strong, beautiful, lovely, loving, happy and elegant woman is reduced to a quivering puddle of tears. She can’t escape.

But Charlie, seems to me to be  enjoying this scene. I should point out that Peter didn’t agree with this evaluation and thought the guy was remorseful. It looked to me like he has a smirk on his face, like he was  actually smiling, enjoying the pain he’s brought to her, the annoyance to us and the police station. I felt like I’d seen this all before – many times, so many people. He is feeling loved that someone cares enough to make such an issue out of him, and with his status, family, connections and money he could get himself  out of any situation. What a ^*&&%$!!!

We get back into the car to leave and I try to talk to her about it, I just don’t get it. The guy is a complete and utter &*&$#. She says she knows he’s controlling, dangerous  even, he drinks too much (sorry but that’s not an excuse). She tells me she worries that he’ll come and wreck my house if she stays with me. I tell her he cannot. I remind her he hasn’t wrecked anyones house but hers, he hasn’t hurt anyone else but her. He does it because she lets him.

I give her time for that to sink in – he does it because she lets him.

She can’t see it. She says he’s sorry and remorseful – “yeah” I think “just like Kagwai  who says he’s sorry for gauging out his wifes eyes”. She was blinded for life.  He did seven years for, Anne can’t even imagine this *^$#  doing one night in a cell!

Logic is truly on vacation.

She, ’s a puddle of tears and I feel angry – double angry. Angry because she isn’t angry at the injustice, angry that she’s letting this *%&$  manipulate her. Angry that she’s making excuses for him. Angry that she can’t see – no matter what, she can’t see what I do. Actually I’m mostly angry because this is all too common in Kenya.

I tell her my own bitter spouse abuse story. Walking out was tough but it was a walk to freedom. And, I’ve never looked back. Everytime I see him with his wife I feel so grateful it’s not me. I escaped a horrible fate! 🙂

I decided that being alone, lonely, unloved and all that came with it was far far better than in an abusive relationship.

I’m also angry because after all that, we bailed the *&^# out.  After putting him in, we bailed him out. Retards.  It cost us Khs 10,000/- and an entire day of my life. He doesn’t deserve it. He probably won’t show up for court either.

She left this morning. I know she’s gone to clean up the broken glass, to remove the paint, fix the windows, anything to avoid dealing with what she needs to do to save herself.

I know I have no right but I asked her anyway, if she could imagine writing him off completely, never seeing him again.

She said she could not.

It’s a day later and I feel certain that am worried that she will drop the charges, continue seeing him in a fatal attempt to mend his broken being. He isn’t like this every day… he’s a troubled man, a spoilt boy with no boundaries…. she is convinced that he needs her. He’ll apologise, cry genuine tears, even see a counselor and shower her with gifts, take her to great places. He’ll probably even propose to her.

But he’s still the same &*(*^ . I dread what he’ll do to her next time. She knows that we will be there to pick up the pieces, …she’s too nice to do anything that will hurt him. It’s as if she’s trapped – she just can’t let go of him. He has infected her.

But maybe she can escape, she can if he lets go….

I’m not hoping, but just saying….maybe the roll cage won’t hold next time.

Post note:

Charlie and Anne are real people but these are not their real names. Over a 12 hour period I discovered what it takes to effect an arrest in Kenya for spouse abuse – its not easy and you need stoic friends to help you through. Spouse abuse happens every day but most cases never get reported because it’s a fucking drama at the police station and male policemen tend to ‘understand’ male urges. They encourage victims to ‘make up’ and withdraw cases. Victims of spouse abuse need to be strong. Know your rights, make a statement, get the P3 form, take photos of the damage and injuries, and put the &*^$#ers away for a long long time.  Oh, and turn off your phone so that his parents can’t reach you. The incident happened yesterday and as you can probably tell, I’m still fuming.  And, I know that men are also abused – either way it’s wrong. Get out of toxic relationships fast.

November 22, 2009 Posted by | Crime, Donkey | , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

You know you’re Kenyan when? Hilarious Twitter Meme…

Thanks to @iAlen this hilarious twitter meme reminded me of why I love  Kenya and Kenyans – if you haven’t already contributed get onto twitter and write a post that starts with #youknowyourkenyan

  1. natekev #youknowyourKenyan when international artistes fail to show up in ur country days to their concert about 2 hours ago from mobile web
  2. 100_0654_normal dnyaga #youknowyourKenyan when you speak #swanglish (Me i kulad, i somad, … , then i lalaad!) (via @mtotowajirani @kenyanpundit @intelligensia) about 2 hours ago from choqoK
  3. Dsc00215-2_normal bytebandit #youknowyourKenyan if you get an adrenalin rush and dance like whoa!! when the DJ hits a gospel track in the club. about 2 hours ago from twibble
  4. Dsc00215-2_normal bytebandit #youknowyourKenyan when someone says “crips” instead of “crisps” about 2 hours ago from twibble
  5. Alen_bw_normal iAlen @MosesKoinange U ulalad vibaya sana on #youknowyourKenyan and now u r a watchman. lol <kubaff> lol about 5 hours ago from web
  6. Final_logo_for_twitter_normal PBSIdeaLab kenyanpundit: RT @inteligensia:#youknowyourKenyan when you speak #swanglish (Me i kulad, i somad, i twittered, then i lalaad!) (via @mtot.. about 6 hours ago from twitterfeed
  7. Owen_n_nephew_normal Wyndago #youknowyourkenyan when you utter half a word in the middle of a sentence just to complete it ‘..then he ca..? He came’ about 6 hours ago from mobile web

  8. Ory1_normal kenyanpundit RT @inteligensia:#youknowyourKenyan when you speak #swanglish (Me i kulad, i somad, i twittered, then i lalaad!) (via @mtotowajirani) about 7 hours ago from Nambu
  9. N507949425_476368_9490_normal Mwirigi RT @gitts: #youknowyourkenyan when the car in front of you is a Toyota about 7 hours ago from TweetDeck
  10. Lkiqynxbhfelqwahtyhppudjchfnbvd29884hjtl3hrqabi06sklqobxteny8zfs_normal bnalyanya @robmugget It’s just too cruel. Meanwhile, you should check out #youknowyourKenyan. Isiolo? about 7 hours ago from Snaptu
  11. N645279135_1397605_7503_normal kairitu #youknowyourkenyan when some random mamaz show up at your house and tell the mboch “tumetumwa na mwenye nyumba tuchukue gas,fridge….etc” about 9 hours ago from mobile web
  12. Me_normal gitts RT @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you sin all week long and expect that going to Church& Christian music on Sunday will erase it all about 9 hours ago from web
  13. Sci_normal soleaddict1 RT @ArcherMishale: #youknowyourKenyan when your Form 1 initiation involved filling a bucket with darkness! about 9 hours ago from Snaptu
  14. Csc_0966_normal mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you sin all week long and expect that going to Church, listening to Christian music on Sunday will erase it all about 9 hours ago from Seesmic Desktop
  15. Me_normal gitts #youknowyourkenyan when you buy a Toyota yet you wanted a Subaru about 9 hours ago from web
  16. Me_normal gitts #youknowyourkenyan when the car in front of you is a Toyota about 9 hours ago from web
  17. Sunflower_normal AkelLove #youknowyourkenyan when you’ll take anything that’s free. about 9 hours ago from mobile web
  18. Sunflower_normal AkelLove #youknowyourkenyan when your president is senile. about 9 hours ago from mobile web
  19. Me_normal gitts RT ArcherMishale #youknowyourKenyan when all your furniture, including the tv, stereo are covered in knitted vitambaa. about 9 hours ago from web
  20. Me_normal gitts #youknowyourKenyan when you pronounce heart, hat, hurt and hut the same way about 9 hours ago from web
  21. 10124_black_normal sheetrace Lol! RT @mtotowajirani: #youknowyourKenyan when you stop to stare at something a crowd is staring at (even if its the sky! Lol.) about 9 hours ago from Mobile Tweete
  22. N645279135_1397605_7503_normal kairitu #youknowyourkenyan when you cant wait for mayoral elections to happen coz most definately cityhall watauana. about 9 hours ago from Snaptu
  23. Csc_0966_normal mountainous RT @gitts: #youknowyourKenyan when you are surprised that the road doesn’t have any potholes about 9 hours ago from Seesmic Desktop
  24. N645279135_1397605_7503_normal kairitu #youknowyourkenyan when the goverment announces an emergency vaccination then the parents go like “they want to make our kids sterile” about 9 hours ago from Snaptu
  25. Me_normal gitts #youknowyourKenyan when you have a VHS tape of Sarafina in your digs about 9 hours ago from web
  26. 10124_black_normal sheetrace RT @inteligensia: #youknowyourKenyan when your neighbours kids are called ocampo, obama and bolt! (via @mtotowajirani) about 9 hours ago from Mobile Tweete
  27. Fb_profile_gish_3264x2448_normal gishungwa RT @ArcherMishale: #youknowyourKenyan when you shave off your eyebrows then use eye pencil.. LOL about 9 hours ago from TwInbox
  28. Me_normal gitts RT @egm_photo #youknowyourKenyan if you complain about the dirty condition of the streets/roads, and toss stuff out of your car window ! about 9 hours ago from web
  29. Me_normal gitts RT mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you insist on staying on the more expensive, unreliable, congested cellphone network about 9 hours ago from web
  30. Me_normal gitts #youknowyourKenyan when you have a dog called simba and mbwa kali sign on your gate about 9 hours ago from web
  31. Me_normal gitts #youknowyourKenyan when you pronounce Milo me-lo instead of my-lo about 9 hours ago from web
  1. mountainous RT @gitts: #youknowyourKenyan when every time you alight from public transport you have to check your pockets about 10 hours ago from Seesmic Desktop
  2. Old_phone_normal inteligensia #youknowyourKenyan when you speak #swanglish (Me i kulad, i somad, i twittered, then i lalaad!) (via @mtotowajirani) about 10 hours ago from Tweetie
  3. Twitterprofilephoto_normal magaribina Si #youknowyourKenyan when you somehow manage to turn every third sentence into a question, yeah ? about 10 hours ago from web
  4. Old_phone_normal inteligensia #youknowyourKenyan When (most of) u plan the most cliche’d & unimaginative dates ever. Eti Java, Dormans na Silverbird pekee?(via @MoMaalim) about 10 hours ago from Twitterrific
  5. Twitterprofilephoto_normal magaribina #youknowyourKenyan if you measure distance by shillings ( si mbali – ni thirty bob tu) about 10 hours ago from web
  6. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu @MosesKoinange #youknowyourKenyan when someone shows up 2 hours late and says ‘don’t worry, it’s African time” (time to kill them!) about 10 hours ago from web
  7. Csc_0966_normal mountainous RT @mtotowajirani: #youknowyourKenyan when you attend weddings for free food, cake and dancing!<== True! even when you don’t know the couple about 10 hours ago from Seesmic Desktop
  8. Csc_0966_normal mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when the whole village (including the chief) come for your graduation ceremony and insist on decorating you with Tinsel! about 10 hours ago from Seesmic Desktop
  9. Csc_0966_normal mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when christmas lunch or any party isn’t complete without Chapatis about 10 hours ago from web
  10. Csc_0966_normal mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you expect “Serikali” to do everything for you, feed, educate, cloth, employ, treat. Heck even pay your Dowry! about 11 hours ago from web
  11. Csc_0966_normal mountainous #youknowyourkenyan whenever you asked by a TV reporter about any calamity/problem you respond starting with “Serikali inapaswa kusaidia….. about 11 hours ago from web
  12. Pic-0015_normal wilfylou #youknowyourkenyan when you say excusssss instead of excuse me. about 11 hours ago from mobile web
  13. Csc_0966_normal mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you ask for a salary advance the week after payday! about 11 hours ago from web
  14. Csc_0966_normal mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when your ultimate concept of going out is Nyamachoma in a dingy joint while grooving to Mugithi/Benga/lingala about 11 hours ago from web
  15. Csc_0966_normal mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you think only people from Central love money, We ALL love money!!!!! about 11 hours ago from web
  16. Csc_0966_normal mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you actually believe HIV/AIDS only infects unmarried/loose/poor/uneducated people about 11 hours ago from web
  17. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you send a hot chick credit and she flashes you back to just say thanks! @paulakahumbu @Kericho120 about 11 hours ago from web
  1. Alen_bw_normal iAlen @coldtusker @mountainous @bnalyanya #youknowyourKenyan when you send a hot chick credit and she flashes you back to just say thanks! about 11 hours ago from web
  2. D3_normal egm_photo #youknowyourKenyan if you complain about the dirty condition of the streets/roads, yet you toss stuff out of your car window free style! about 11 hours ago from TweetDeck
  3. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you can’t get your grammar right even in the hash-tag @paulakahumba about 11 hours ago from web
  4. Alen_bw_normal iAlen @anyixbaby @coldtusker @mountainous @bnalyanya RT hahah #youknowyourKenyan when you can’t get your grammar right even in the hash-tag about 11 hours ago from web
  5. Alen_bw_normal iAlen @mountainous RT mountainous #youknowyourKenyan when you flash someone and when he@she calls back you only say you wanted to say Hi!!!! lol about 11 hours ago from web
  6. Csc_0966_normal mountainous #youknowyourKenyan when you stop the matatu infront of your gate then spend all day bitching about how Matatu are causing jam about 11 hours ago from Gravity
  7. Csc_0966_normal mountainous #youknowyourKenyan when you wait till the last minute to do your back to school/christmas/household shopping about 11 hours ago from Gravity
  8. Csc_0966_normal mountainous #youknowyourKenyan when you call someone just to ask ‘uko wap?’ about 11 hours ago from Gravity
  9. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when someone insists there only one First family and Wambui et al know otherwise….. about 11 hours ago from web
  10. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you call State House and the person on the other end goes, “You want a srap?” lol about 11 hours ago from web
  11. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourkenyan when on Sunday Kibaki didnt go to kabarak for sunday service! about 12 hours ago from web
  12. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourkenyan in Tanzania having a Tusker and its just tastes like crap! about 12 hours ago from web
  13. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourkenyan when your in Tanzania and wabongo are speaking in Swa! about 12 hours ago from web
  14. Alen_bw_normal iAlen @anyixbaby RT Wat? @theziza @viperdamus i misd tht news! Wats tht condoms leaking? Thts wen #youknowyourkenyan hahahahaha about 12 hours ago from web
  15. Print_tusker_normal coldtusker RT @paulakahumbu: #youknowyourKenyan when someone calls you and says “who am I speaking to?” [What’s with that???] about 12 hours ago from TweetDeck
  1. anyixbaby Wat? @theziza @viperdamus i misd tht news! Wats tht condoms leaking? Thts wen #youknowyourkenyan about 12 hours ago from mobile web
  2. Alt2_twitter_normal Shiko_Msa iAlen @paulakahumbu @crystalsimeoni when peeps queue at express counter with trolleyfulls #supermarkets #youknowyourkenyan. @toneendungu about 12 hours ago from mobile web
  3. Alen_bw_normal iAlen @Shiko_Msa @paulakahumbu @crystalsimeoni RT #youknowyourKenyan when goodbye’s end in “nice time”…uh…yeah you too… about 12 hours ago from web
  4. N507949425_476368_9490_normal Mwirigi #youknowyourKenyan when there’s no news on the news (its the same old same old) about 12 hours ago from dabr
  5. Twitter_me_normal crystalsimeoni #youknowyourKenyan when goodbye’s end in “nice time”…uh…yeah you too… about 12 hours ago from DestroyTwitter
  6. L_abacac4e02f94b869fc3836bbea3ea7f_normal queenkenya562 SO SOMEONE JUST TWEETED ME WITH THIS TRENDING TOPIC #youknowyourKenyan LOL I’m NOT FROM KENYA I’M FROM LBC NORF TO BE EXACT about 12 hours ago from twidroid
  7. Alen_bw_normal iAlen @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you say “Hello” and he answers “fine” …what the hell do you say next? hahahahahahahahaha about 12 hours ago from web
  8. Alen_bw_normal iAlen @kainvestor@Shiko_Msa @paulakahumbu RT #youknowyourKenyan when someone calls you and says “who am I speaking to?” hahaha about 12 hours ago from web
  9. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you get back from holiday and your manager says “your back from China?” about 12 hours ago from web
  10. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you’re next door neighbour is a Mungiki adherant and you cant report it to the authorities about 12 hours ago from web
  11. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when someone calls you and says “who am I speaking to?” about 12 hours ago from web
  12. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you start negotiating for you wallet from the pickpocket on a mathree about 12 hours ago from web
  13. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when being able to say “I’ve never given a bribe” is something worth getting a prize for about 12 hours ago from web
  14. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you steal from public coffers and get reappointed Minister about 13 hours ago from web
  15. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you say “Hello” and he answers “fine” …what the hell do you say next? about 13 hours ago from web
  16. Alen_bw_normal iAlen @queenkenya562 @MosesKoinange @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you call a parastatal and the receptionist goes, “kunatia?” about 13 hours ago from web
  17. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu @Shiko_Msa nice one …and #youknowyourKenyan when she says “Imagine” in response to every statement about 13 hours ago from web
  1. Shiko_Msa @paulakahumbu when the word ‘otherwise’ is a greeting #youknowyourkenyan? about 13 hours ago from mobile web
  2. Alen_bw_normal iAlen RT #youknowyourKenyan when the radio DJ tells a crying woman who called in to stay with her brutal husband for the sake of the kids lol about 13 hours ago from web
  3. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when police refuse your offer of pie in a bag in response to “can u give us something for lunch” – I did that 🙂 ha ha about 13 hours ago from web
  4. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when police get into ur car 2 get 2 next police check then offer u KSh 200 for fuel – 4 hours later! about 13 hours ago from web
  5. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when the breakdown service truck is being towed – I saw that today! about 13 hours ago from web
  6. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when the traffic police are push starting their car about 13 hours ago from web
  7. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when u turn on radio and they r playing Roger Whittaker – we must b the only people on the planet who listen to that crap about 13 hours ago from web
  8. Alen_bw_normal iAlen @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you get “leave a message” when you dial 911 lolest @moseskoinange @ialen @kainvestor about 13 hours ago from web
  9. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when they give you anti malaria pills for a headache about 13 hours ago from web
  10. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you get “number out of service” when you dial 911 or KWS hotline for that matter about 13 hours ago from web
  11. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you tell the guy who jumped the q to go back to the end and he says “do you know who I am?” F%$#@ers! about 13 hours ago from web
  12. Paula_chimp_low_normal paulakahumbu @moseskoinange @ialen @kainvestor #youknowyourKenyan when ur warned “uta lala ndani” for worn tyres about 13 hours ago from web
  13. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when Michuki rattles at you and you cant do anything about it! about 13 hours ago from web
  14. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when Mulu Mutisya was one of Moi’s closest pals… about 13 hours ago from web
  15. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when half of the MP’s in the house have past criminal convictions! ouch! about 13 hours ago from web
  16. Alen_bw_normal iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when 17 screaming cars 42 bikes with flashing lights pull traffic off road 2 let Rais attend to a golf lunch on a Monday about 13 hours ago from web
  17. Roho_juu_normal wayneryner #youknowyourKenyan when you rape, steal n kill and expect your kids to love n respect you about 13 hours ago from web

September 8, 2009 Posted by | twitter | Leave a comment

The study of Zebra butts

The study of zebra behaviour starts with staring at their butts.
zebra butts.jpg
Like a fingerprint, each zebra has unique markings on it’s butt.
zebra sides.jpg
Of course the stripes on their sides are also individually unique
zebra yawn.jpg
but then you’d need two photos of each animal to identify it…
zebra kick.jpg
So after taking alot of photos of zebras assess you’d be able to tell who’s who in the soap opera of zebra life and understand why this guy is so mad.
Kenya has two species of Zebra, the plains zebra and the rare Grevy’s zebra. These two species co occur in Northern Kenya where they spend most of hteir time trying to avoid becoming lion lunch.
Shiva Sundaressan and his wife Corinne are studying what makes zebra society so damn interesting. Read their blog Saving Stripes on WildlifeDirect.

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August 14, 2009 Posted by | Conservation, Donkey, Lion, Parks, Wildlife | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment