Wild About Africa

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Kenyan politicians head to hollywood

Well it’s out, Kenyan leaders and their wives have been approached by Hollywood Directors in a move that could guarantee that these non starters of 2012 could have a life beyond politics.

I’ve heard that some of the recent proposals  (top secret so don’t tell anyone) include

1. Lucy Kibaki and other African first ladies will be starring in the sequel to Good Hair titled “Really Bad Hair”by Chris Rock.

Mwai, George and his wife will play their parts too

Producers have a huge selection of other stars to choose from – if Lucy agrees to share the stage of course. This lady comes ready prepared with body guards and weapon. Of courses the authors recommend that the title be extended to read “Really bad Hair, hats and expressions”.

2. The third installment of the trilogy Night at the Museum which will be titled “Day at the Zoo” – a documentary about one day in the Kenyan parliament (though rumour has it that Kenyan MP’s are asking for astronomical daily sitting and standing allowances to appear  in this film and so the producers are now considering shifting to work on the Somali parliament – (if there is one to talk about in coming days).  The title of this movie has been change several times from “Funny People” to “Demons and even more Demons” and “Public enemies” before settling on “Day at the Zoo”.

3. In a much awaited sequel to Box office  Hit Ferris Buelers day off,  comes “Mwai Kibaki’s Day off”,  a low budget documentary  that will feature the daily life of Kenya’s current president. No doubt this will become a much loved and re-watched that Kenyans in particular where viewers will vote with a resounding thumbs down.

4. Big name producers have proposed a sequel to “Land of the Lost”, the produces have proposed a 3 hour “Avatar” style extravaganza about Kenyan voters.

5. Based on a  true story, “Predators in Kenya” is the inside story of Luis Moreno Ocampo’s search and arrest for the culprits of the Kenya’s post electionViolence.

Don't miss this gripping thriller "Predators"

7. Finally, a new rumour has just come – Gideon Moi has purchased the rights (with your money) to produce a real life feature about himself titled “Hell Boy 3”. Nough said.

8. Goldfinger 2: life in Kenya is a new title proposed for a fantasy film about a diamond stealing, lying, cheating, born again christian named Paul who is of indian origin. It will also feature Finger of God cult stars  if they can get out of jail in time.

9. South African president Jacob Zuma will star in the latest installment of Meet the Parents called  “Fathers of the Brides” – about his bride price wrangles.

“I’ll kick your ass!!”

10. Coming soon is another expected box office hit,  “Bad Boys 3” about the aspiring  sons of fathers of politics in Kenya. In this  feature Jimmy, Gideon, Uhuru and others will play themselves. It is rumoured that Margaryan and Sagarsyan, the infamous Artur Brothers are providing never seen before material or this real life drama. The title of this flick has been changed from “more than 12 monkeys”, and “Amageddon in Kenya’.


May 19, 2010 - Posted by | Donkey |

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