Kenyan journalist-speak

Kenyan journalists must have all trained at the same school of journalism where they earned their MC’s – Master of  Cliches.

President Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga Yesterday held “closed door meetings” of their parties to “hammer out party positions on new law ahead of negotiations. Meanwhile “heavy rains pound various parts of the country”.

Here are some of our favourite cliches.

Wrongful shootings by police –  “killed in  a shoot out, unclear if he was felled by police bullet or if carjackers shot him”

Exra-judicial police killings of suspects – “Carjacker was gunned down”

Impersonators – “masquerading as a tax official”

Illegal search of suspects house – “Tobacco, pillows, knife and fork, and a kitchen sink were also found in the mans house”

Lobbying –  “angling to get a foothold”

Investigating fraud – “unravel theft”

While cliches allow editors to recycle about 50% of all phrases each day, journalists reserve the best chiches for themselves whenever the Media Act is discussed.

Lets be clear, the new media legislation aims ban on offensive language and glorification of violence. Sounds good no? No? Not according to journalists who go overboard on the issue describing it as  “anti democratic, narrow minded, gagging the media, fundamentally violating the enjoyment of Kenyan citizens,  muzzling the media, and contravening the right to freedom of expression and conscience of, and free press”

I think I love this new law – finally something to stop Caroline Mutoko and gang from gay bashing and spreading homophobic hate and violence.