Awake at 3 am in New York or About to blow my brains out
It’s 3.30 am and I can’t sleep. I’m in a cafe across the street from Starbucks waiting for SB to open so that I can get onto the internet.
I love NY at night
The conversation yesterday got me so mad that if the energy could be captured, Nairobi would never have power cuts again.
After the Jackson Hole Film Festival and everything wild we celebrate about our amazing continent, the views I’ve heard here in USA reveal that We are doing a superbly crap job of Branding Africa.
“You can’t save wildlife without tourism but how can you convince people that Africa is safe?” by little old lady
“the reason why people are starving in Africa is corruption” by someone I respect (ed)
And my all time SFG (Super Fume Generator)
“The problem with Africa is tribalism” by the same guy I respect Ggrrrrrr
And the statement that pushed my tolerance beyond blood boiling to geyser eruptions
“racism is genetically hard wired into us”, by someone who is funny most of the time – but not anymore
I had a light bulb revelation – Americans think in epiphanies – Our enemies want to destroy our way of life, and “It’s the axis of Evil”. George bush isn’t a moron, the man is a genius. He deserves a frigging medal.
I was told that nobody can say America is racist, look at our most powerful marketing icons “Magic Johnson”, “the …what are their names, the Tennis sisters”, “oh, and whatever Ophrah touches turns to Gold”, “We aren’t racist, but the problem with African Americans is they can’t stay out of jail, it’s because most of the men were raised by neurotic women who had been molested by a relative in the past, they are breeding and raising psychotic children”.
Oh my head hurts …
So now you know why I woke up at stupid O’clock in search of a Starbucks. It’s not in search of a caffeine hit, it’s not even because I’m a twitter addict, but it is because I need internet access. I dressed and packed my back pack to impersonate a hobo and left my flea ridden hotel in search of the nearest spot. The first Starbucks opens at 5.30 am…so I kept walking. The second at Times Square looked more hopeful – open 24 hours it says on the door. There’s actually a woman in side but there is a distinct absence of the homely Arabica aroma …as I try to get to the door by edging around the bins, she looks up, waves at me and mouths ”NO”
So It take out my camera and capture the photo – open 24 hours – I want to photoshop the words in a bubble “psyche!”
She sees me and opens the door but asks me for 5 minutes as she starts turning on machines. There isn’t a seat in that place –it’s like a standing up café …well at least they will have internet right? Wrong – I’m told that to get internet I first have to buy a Starbucks card and then I have to go somewhere else and get onto the internet in order to sign up and use the Starbucks internet card. Sound bizarre? I bet she was just trying to get rid of me. So I’m skulking in a different café across the street from the Starbucks of choice like a vulture. Feeling guilty about just ‘using the place’ I bought a cup of herbal tea sat down and pulled out my comp – only to find out that there’s now power plug in the entire café and it’s a huge place. My battery is on about 1%, I COULD SCREAM!
Maybe I’ll wake up and still be in my warm bed….no, I’m still here and that pinch hurts.
Despite the hour, NY is awake- I passed a hobo who had perfected the art of sleep reading – sitting on a bench in a position that suggests he’s reading but it’s totally dark.
In the café is a group of youths who have clearly just met each other. God young people are so stupid. It’s impossible to ignore the loud South African dark haired blonde. She’s flirting with a gang of predatory NY dudes in a coffee shop at 4 am. She’s saying rubbish like “the guys over here are so friendly”
And “I’m a lawyer. What do you guys do? Oh you’re a bum. And you? You sell sunglasses? Oh I need sunglasses. Where can I get some – the Sunday street faire – but I’m leaving tomorrow..?” Oh God my head hurts even more now
Painful as it is, at least they aren’t just making friends on twitter. That’s what I’m dying to do!
57 more minutes to wait for Starbucks to open…time to start thinking of how to Rebrand Africa – I need a strong coffee for that – send me your thoughts
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